


Coming Home

by thecrazyhairdo (givemepizza)



Category: GOT7
Genre: Break ups and make ups, Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, Relationship Discussions, Romance, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23753269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givemepizza/pseuds/thecrazyhairdo
Summary: Youngjae doesn’t expect to find Jaebeom standing at his doorstep five months ago Jaebeom abruptly cut off all contact with Youngjae with no explanation orapologyJaebeom pushes his hoodie off his head, pulls his face mask down and takes off his sunglasses. “hi.”The wind gets knocked out of Youngjae’s chest as he sees how devasted Jaebeom looks.“hi.” Youngjae breathes, finally finding his voice. “What are you doing here?”“I have nowhere else to go.” Jaebeom whispers. “May I come in?”
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB
Comments: 17
Kudos: 88





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again, fellow aghases. Today is a great day as our lovely GOT7 has blessed us with another awesome album. I figured it's a great day to post a 2jae romance. There is an angst tag here which is fitting because there will be some crying, bitterness, hurt and some emotional roller coasters as this is a breakup story. The story isn't all sad though. There is a lot of fluff as well and there will definitely be a nice, happy ending. I'll update this every 3 or 4 days Max.  
> I've also just posted chapter 1 of another two-part 2jae romance story called "Knocked up". please go check that one out too, and please support our boys' music a lot<3
> 
> Stay extra safe, everyone and enjoy reading this story<3

Youngjae doesn’t expect to find Jaebeom standing at his doorstep at 7 in the morning. Five months ago Jaebeom abruptly cut off all contact with Youngjae, leaving him both confused and devastated. There was no explanation and no apology; no one to help him understand what was going on with Jaebeom, no one to tell him he wasn’t at fault. All Youngjae could do was to assume and accept that Jaebeom broke up with him. That’s why Youngjae is utterly shocked to see Jaebeom here.

One look at Jaebeom and Youngjae feels the little progress he has made the past few months getting over Jaebeom, fly right out the window. He should be thinking about throwing a punch at Jaebeom right now, but instead he is struggling with holding himself back from throwing his arms around Jaebeom and kissing him.

Jaebeom pushes his hoodie off his head, pulls his face mask down and takes off his sunglasses. “hi.”

The wind gets knocked out of Youngjae’s chest as he sees the state Jaebeom is in. His eyes are a little unfocused, blinking a little too rapidly like he can’t quite maintain eye contact with Youngjae. More importantly there is so much sadness in those eyes. He hasn’t exactly lost any weight, but he looks so exhausted and lifeless. It’s obvious he hasn’t slept much either if the dark circles around his eyes are any indication.

“hi.” Youngjae breathes, finally finding his voice. “What are you doing here?”

“I have nowhere else to go.” Jaebeom whispers, voice barely audible, but Youngjae catches it. of course he does. “May I come in?”

Youngjae has so many questions, but he supposes they can’t talk at the door, so he steps aside to let Jaebeom in. He is still angry and hurt of course, but he isn’t heartless enough to send Jaebeom away out in the cold. He wouldn’t do that to anyone.

About a minute later they are in Youngjae’s living area and Jaebeom has peeled off his overcoat and put his small travel bag down. As an awkward silence stretches, Youngjae becomes suddenly aware that he just got out of bed and is still in his bedtime sweat pants and t-shirt. He knows he doesn’t look bad or anything, but a part of him wishes he looked better in front of Jaebeom.

Meanwhile Jaebeom stuffs his hands in his hoodie pockets so that he doesn’t spontaneously reach out for Youngjae like he desperately wants- no- _needs_ to. He busies himself taking in the expanse of the place and takes note of some changes. It seems youngjae did some redecorating. To put in some sophisticated décor.

From where he is standing, Jaebeom can feel the hostility radiating from Youngjae, can see the tons of questions swimming in his eyes and hurt etched upon his cute face. It’s all Jaebeom’s fault and that’s why he can’t complain about how different everything feels.

Youngjae’s apartment isn’t all that’s changed. Youngjae is different too. Jaebeom can sense it, and that makes this entire situation only worse. The truth is Jaebeom has no idea how to deal with any of this. He fucked up and hurt the one person that means everything to him, the only person he feels entirely safe and at home with. Now he desperately needs a home to escape to and even if he no longer has to right to be here, he still came because lately he has felt like his heart might stop beating entirely if he doesn’t see Youngjae.

“Your place looks cool. I like the new style.” Jaebeom means to sound and looks happy, but what comes out is totally something different. His voice is way too shaky and ragged, giving away the emotional mess he has going on inside.

“Thanks.” Youngjae replies and just continues staring at Jaebeom in a way that makes him almost squirm in discomfort. It’s as if he knows something Jaebeom doesn’t or he can see right through him. “So, how have you been?”

“Good.” Jaebeom says too quickly for anything believable, his voice betraying him yet again.

Youngjae almost gives into the urge to chuckle at how hard Jaebeom is trying to seem okay. _I know you too well, you selfish idiot. You can’t pretend with me,_ he wants to say, but he can’t bring himself to. “Just so you know, you look like shit.”

Jaebeom smiles, no trace of actual humour anywhere on his facial expression. “Yeah?”

“I know what happened.” Youngjae finally admits so that they can both hopefully move on from pretending that Jaebeom isn’t suffering. The impending conversation about their relationship is the only elephant Youngjae can tolerate in the room right now. 

Like a gush of wind sweeping the door off a pressurized pipe, Jaebeom’s façade comes crumbling down and he chokes in spite of himself, quickly lowering his gaze in shame as tears well up.

A huge part of Youngjae still wants to punch Jaebeom in the face, but the other part of him that feels so sad seeing Jaebeom so broken just wants to hug Jaebeom, protect him somehow, make his anguish go away.

No matter how much Jaebeom hates seeking comfort from the last person he deserves to get it from, he can’t afford, pride, embarrassment or to hesitate right now. He shamelessly melts in Youngjae’s embrace, nuzzling his face in Youngjae’s neck. He hates that the person he has hurt the most is the only one he has left to turn to for security and support. It’s humiliating to say the very least but here he is now and it’s too late to turn back.

Youngjae’s reaches up to smooth his fingers through Jaebeom’s thick, long locks of hair in a soothing manner. “shh.” He whispers. “Everything sucks right now, but it’s not the end. You’ll be fine.” Youngjae’s voice sounds softer than he expects.

Silence fills the room as Jaebeom finally starts calming down. He sniffles and lifts his head off Youngjae’s shoulder, but he doesn’t look up to meet Youngjae’s gaze. “I’m sorry. I just got here and I’m already crying like a damn baby.” Jaebeom says, voice hoarse from all the crying. He tips his head back to look at Youngjae and their eyes meet.

“My arms are open for you to hide your worries there. I’d rather you show me your despair than handle it all alone.”

The lump in Jaebeom’s throat thickens as a fresh wave of guilt washes over him. “I really don’t deserve you.”

“No you don’t, but I’m here anyway because I still care.”

It’s because of that care emanating from Youngjae that Jaebeom’s emotions are threatening to burst out. He harshly digs the pads of his palms into his eyes and rubs at them to dry the tears, but they only flow some more.

Youngjae shakes his head and pulls Jaebeom back into his arms, cradling his head against his chest. “No apologies or explanations now. Let’s deal with everything a bit at a time. For now, cry all you need to.” Youngjae’s voice cracks a little at the end because he is getting emotional as well seeing the man he loves in such pain. Not even his anger can stop his heart from breaking for Jaebeom. It doesn’t stop him from muttering soft words of encouragement and comfort.

**********

After all the crying, Jaebeom drinks some water, offered to him by Youngjae, then he asks if it’s okay for him to take a nap.

“Don’t you want anything to eat?” Youngjae asks.

Jaebeom shakes his head, feeling his stomach churn dangerously at the thought of food. “I feel a little exhausted.”

Youngjae wants to argue but he decides against it. At least the crying has stopped. That’s progress. “Then go ahead and rest. I’ll take you to my guest room.”

********

Youngjae’s guest room is a small, cosy space with just a single bed, a cabinet to the left side with a small chair beside it, and a closet to the far right of the bed. Jaebeom looks around and takes in the child-like yellow curtains with kangaroos on them. He smiles at how the kangaroos are armed with red boxing gloves. The comforter on the bed is equally adorable with baby ducks on it.

After he’s set Jaeneom’s weekend bag down on the chair by the bed, Youngjae notices the tiny smile playing on Jaebeom’s lips as he looks around and figures it’s the kangaroos and baby ducks. “My nephew visits a lot. I haven’t gotten the chance to change things in here. Is all this uncomfortable for you?”

“No. it’s cute.” Jaebeom means it too. “And refreshing.”

“Glad to hear it. Get confortable then. That door-” Youngjae pauses to point at the door by the closet, “-is an adjoining bathroom. Feel free to sue it.” 

Jaebeom turns towards Youngjae and gives him a meaningful look. “Thank you.” It’s gratitude for more than just the accommodation and Youngjae understands loud and clear.

“You’re welcome.” The invitation is just as imbued with as much meaning as Jaebeom’s _thank you._ “Get some rest. We’ll talk when you wake up.”

********

Youngjae paces across his kitchen, lower lip drawn between his lips and his eyebrows furrowed as he ponders how to proceed with Jaebeom’s presence here in his house so suddenly. He is so deep in thought that he almost misses the annoying whistling sound of his kettle signalling that his tea water has sufficiently boiled.

It’s times like these when Youngjae turns to his most trusted older brother figure, Jackson, for advice. So Youngjae makes the call and reliable as ever, Jackson answers in record time.

Youngjae explains everything that’s happened and Jackson scoffs. “Jaebeom’s got some nerve showing up at your place after what he’s done.” There is a quiet sigh and then. “But I’m not surprised he turned up again.”

“No?”

“No. that idiot is crazy about you. What the hell does he want?”

“We haven’t really talked yet.”

“Where is he staying?”

Youngjae pulls his lower lip between his teeth in hesitation. “He is in my guest room.”

“We have hotels in town.” 

“I think Jaebeom hyung is in trouble. Thanks to a meltdown on social media, he is in the middle of a controversy. I can’t just kick him out.”

“His selfish ass suddenly cut you off and now he shows up out of nowhere. What does he expect?”

“I can’t kick him out.” Youngjae repeats.

“You have too big a heart I swear.” Jackson’s heavy sigh comes pouring through the phone then he continues. “What are you thinking?” Jackson’s voice has softened a notch perhaps because he can sense Youngjae’s emotional turmoil.

“I don’t know.” Youngjae shakes his head and looks helplessly up at his hyung. “I don’t know.” He needlessly repeats.

“Alright don’t panic and don’t overthink. Take it one day at a time, okay. You say he is in trouble, so probably he just needs a place to hide or whatever. He’ll be gone before long I’m sure.”

“He said he still loves me.”

“Do you believe him?”

“Maybe.”

Jackson sighs again as if to express not only how unsurprised he is but disappointment as well. “Of course you do.”

“Does that mean I’m gullible and easily swayed?” Youngjae absolutely loathes how pitiful he sounds asking the question.

“No it doesn’t. It just means you are in love and that’s not your fault. We’ve all been a fool for love at least once in our lives.” Jackson actually offers Youngjae a soft laugh. 

Youngjae smiles, relief coursing through him. “That’s true.” He makes a long pause. “What’s also true is that maybe this isn’t just about my romantic relationship with Jaebeom anymore. He and I are friends as well and as a friend I can’t kick him out and let him handle the mess he is in all by himself. That’s just cruel. There is also the possibility that maybe I want him to stay.” 

Jackson hums and it sounds like he understands. “Is he in that much trouble?”

“Extremely. His career is dangling on a thin thread.”

“Since you are not sure what to do, just let him stick around and see where that goes. You might regret it anyway if you push him away. But if he does anything stupid, I’ll come over and kick his ass out myself. You’ve been warned.” 

“I know.” Youngjae admits with a fond smile. “.”

“Then if you can, let him stay for as long as both of you need him to. You guys have some seriously unfinished business.”

“That we do. Jaebeom hyung owes me an explanation.”


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom and Youngjae slowly start breaking the ice by going out to lunch together

Jaebeom wakes up to a text from his closest friend, Jinyoung. Jaebeom and Jinyoung met anout 8 years ago when they both joined their current record label in hopes of making their singing and acting dreams come true. While Jaebeom got comfortable doing music, Jinyoung decided to pursue both music and acting, a choice they now both agree was very wise since Jinyoung is doing great.

As best friends for so many years now, there is no aspect of Jaebeom’s life that Jinyoung doesn’t know about and vice versa. That means Jinyoung knows everything about Jaebeom’s relationship with Youngjae. In fact Jinyougn has met Youngjae a few times either when Youngjae visited them in Seoul or during the few times Jaebeom invited Jinyoung to Daegu to visit Youngjae.

Jinyoung is the one who told Jaebeom to get over himself and come here to see Youngjae and apologise in person for unceremoniously dumping him.

Jaebeom takes a moment to reorient himself with the room and the house after the initial confusion when he opened his eyes a few seconds ago. Once the fog clears, he turns on his back and opens Jinyoung’s text.

**_Jinyoung:_ ** _have you arrived in Daegu?_

Jaebeom starts typing a quick reply.

**_Jaebeom:_ ** _I’m at Youngjae’s house_

**_Jinyoung:_ ** _good. How is he?_

**_Jaebeom:_ ** _shocked._

**_Jinyoung:_ ** _that’s normal. At least he didn’t throw you out. Did he?_

**_Jaebeom:_ ** _no. I just took a nap in his spare room_

**_Jinyoung:_ ** _how nice. He is a keeper. Don’t fuck things up again. He isn’t too mad at you is he?_

**_Jaebeom:_ ** _honestly I expected a punch in a face but it’s yet to come. Jae is being so cool about everything. I think that’s worse for me._

**_Jinyoung:_ ** _Hang in there. You are in the right place. Your life is a bigger mess without Youngjae in it._

**_Jaebeom:_ ** _that’s mean but I agree. I won’t leave until I’ve fixed things here._

**_Jinyoung:_ ** _That’s good. I’d like to get to a point where I can apologise to Youngjae in person. After you cut him off, he called me countless times and each time I pretended not to know what was going on with you._

**_Jaebeom:_ ** _again I’m sorry for putting you in that position._

**_Jinyoung:_ ** _all water under the bridge. Keep me posted on what happens over there._

**_Jaebeom:_ ** _sure thing._

*******

Jaebeom washes his face and brushes his teeth in the bathroom and then changes his clothes into a more comfortable pair of black sweat pants and a white sweater. Once he has deemed his appearance as presentable according to the small mirror in the bathroom, he steps out of the bedroom and finds Youngjae folding some laundry in the living area.

Youngjae looks up and his breath catches in his throat at how unexpectedly magnificent Jaebeom looks walking towards him in a simple yet compelling outfit.

Youngjae has always appreciated the way Jaebeom’s broad shoulders sit well in fitting sweaters, giving him a kind of comfortable and warm yet also sexy allure. One of the things Youngjae has always loved so much about Jaebeom is his effortless sex appeal.

As if he has noticed what he is doing to Youngjae, Jaebeom goes to make things worse by running his fingers through his neck-long locks of hair to push them back from his hairline.

“Hi.” Youngjae finally manages, just barely catching himself.

Jaebeom tentatively settles on the couch next to Youngjae. “Hi.” He offers a small smile, a beautiful smile that always lifts Youngjae’s heart rate.

Youngjae feels a fresh wave of bitterness that he lost such a great guy without having a say in it all. Jaebeom is no longer his. He can only admire from afar and it sucks.

Jaebeom isn’t exactly an expert in deciphering people’s moods but he is certain Youngjae just went from hot to cold in the short space of time since Jaebeom walked into the living room. He supposes the reaction isn’t all that strange considering how strange this whole situation is.

Determined to handle everything as smoothly as possible, Jaebeom gestures at the clothes in the basket by Youngjae’s feet on the carpeted floor. “Can I help?”

 _No. that’s too fucking domestic and my heart can’t handle it,_ Youngjae wants to say but he figures that will only make things weirder. “Sure.” He says instead and Jaebeom appears to let out a relieved breath. Youngjae is stunned that even this tiny request has Jaebeom so on edge.

Jaebeom gets to work on the clothes. “Did you sleep well?” Youngjae asks

“I did thanks.”

“It’s almost lunch. Let’s go and have something nice to eat.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“I’ll eat anything. I should be asking _you_ what you can eat since you are eon a diet and all.”

“While I’m here, can we please put aside the fact that I’m a celebrity? I’d like to eat, sleep and do everything else like a regular person.”

The request is begging for Youngjae to ask more about what’s going on with Jaebeom but again he holds back in fear of thickening the atmosphere.

“Okay then let’s go and half ramen.”

********

During the bus ride, Jaebeom falls asleep twice, each time snuggling up against Youngjae’s side and resting his head on Youngjae’s shoulder. Youngjae wants to push Jaebeom away because even though Jaebeom is here now, Youngjae still feels every bit of the deep searing pain he has endured since Jaebeom unceremoniously cut off contact with him months ago.

They haven’t really talked yet and Youngjae has no idea what’s on Jaebem’s mind, which is why it’s probably a bad idea for Youngjae to get too comfoetablw with having Jaebeom here like this, to enjoy their close proximity right now, to feel a deep satisfaction in his chest because for so long he has longed to have Jaebeom this close.

It’s all a bad idea but that’s exactly what Youngjae is feeling because try as he may, it’s impossible to just switch off his romantic feelings for Jaebeom- his first love and closest friend.

Finally they reach their destination and disembark from the bus. 

“We are here.” Youngjae announces after the bus speeds off.

Jaebeom takes off his sunglasses to properly take in the sight. They are standing in front of a rundown building complex that looks like it’s seen better days. Jaebeom can’t believe a place like this is allowed to house eating places.

Youngjae notices Jaebeom’s apprehension and nudges him. “The place is safe. I promise.”

Jaebeom doesn’t trust what he is seeing, but he trusts Youngjae, so he lets him lead them inside. 

Youngjae comes to a halt just at the door and turns to Jaebeom, reaching up behind Jaebeom’s ears to unhook his face mask. He then takes the sunglasses off Jaebeom’s face and the cap off his head.

Jaebeom panics as Youngjae puts the mask, cap and glasses away in his coat pocket. “No one will recognise you here.” Youngjae reassures.

“How can you be sure?” Jaebeom his holding a palm over his mouth while his eyes are darting around, scanning the place.

“I’m certain because so far I’m the youngest person that’s ever visited this place. The others are old men and women who I doubt know a 25 year old RnB singer.”

Jaebeom considers that for a moment and slowly drops his hand. “I guess you are right.”

“That’s why we came here, so that you can relax and feel comfortable.” The care and warmth in Youngjae smile hits Jaebeom right in the heart, warming it and filling it with gratitude.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

The inside is a lot more orderly and cleaner than Jaebeom anticipates. It’s nearly empty as well much to his delight. They find a table near the back and sit down facing each other.

Jaebeom is looking around when he gets startled by Youngjae abruptly shouting for the restaurant owner to come and get their order.

Youngjae frowns at the creepy grin slowly spreading across Jaebeom’s face. “What?”

“I forgot how loud your shrill voice can be.” Jaebeom replies and earns a swift kick to the shin under the table. “Ouch.” He yelps. “I was going to say that I’ve missed it.”

Youngjae just smiles at that. The restaurant owner rushes over to their table, smiling and hyperventilating with a flushed face. Her smile brightens when she sees Jaebeom.

“Hello, Youngjae. You brought a friend I see.”

“Yes, Mrs. Jung. This is Jaebeom.” Youngjae introduces.

The lady makes a small bow at Jaebeom. “You are very handsome.”

“Thank you.” Jaebeom beams, taking in the lady’s greying hair which is pushed back in a ponytail and the peach floral dress on her slender frame, half covered by her apron. “Your dress is lovely.” He replies, meaning it.

Mrs. Jung shyly waves that off. “You are too kind. Just for that and because you are Youngjae’s friend, I’ll make your order extra special.”

Youngjae scoffs. “Don’t fall for his fake charm, Mrs. Jung. He is not as nice as he seems now.”

“Hey..” Jaebeom takes his revenge and kicks Youngjae’s leg. “Don’t discredit me.”

Hissing, Jaebeom gives him a death glare, and then looks back at Mrs. Jung with a smile. “two bowls of my usual please.”

“Alright. I won’t be long.” Mrs. Jung promises and then disappears to the back.

Their food arrives eventually and Jaebeom is spending a little too much time just staring down at it and licking his lips.

“It will taste a lot better once you actually taste it.” Youngjae teases, but then abruptly stops when Jaebeom gives him a sad smile. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m okay. I miss this kind of food a lot, but I’m still a little uneasy about eating things like this. I’ve been dieting for years.”

Youngjae feels bad for Jaebeom because he can only imagine what it’s like to live without being able to eat whatever one wants to eat. “I can change your order to an all-vegetable dish.” 

“no.” Jaebeom quickly disputes. “I still want to eat this ramen.”

“Okay. Eat what you can then. You don’t have to finish everything.”

******

Jaebeom does actually eat everything, and Youngjae admits he enjoys watching Jaebeom eat in such a carefree manner, all inhibitions tossed out the window. After the meal, Youngjae pays for everything and they leave, promising Mrs Jung that they would both visit soon.

“Can we find a taxi here?” Jaebeom asks outside the restaurant while his eyes survey the area.

“We have to walk to the road.” Youngjae informs as he reaches into his jacket pocket to take out Jaebeom’s stuff and give them back.

Jaebeom considers that for a few seconds. “I think a walk will do me some good.”

Youngjae points at the right direction and they fall into step together. “Do want to head home now?” he asks

Humming in thought, Jaebeom shakes his head. “Not really.” He puts his cap, glasses and mask back on.

“Then do you want to go grocery shopping with me? I need to buy some stuff for us.” Youngjae hates having to ask the difficult questions but as it is, he can’t avoid them. “How long are you staying?”

A heavy silence befalls them to the point where the sound of their feet pounding the pavement becomes deafening. Jaebeom doesn’t know the right answer to the question. Right now he barely has answers to anything concerning his life. All he is sure of is that he wants to be with Youngjae a little longer. What he is afraid of is admitting that and then getting rejected by Youngjae.

“I’m not asking you to about commitment or anything.” Youngjae feels the need to explain when the silence becomes too heavy. “I just want to know how much grocery to buy.”

“I’m not leaving today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after.” Jaebeom tentatively speaks, peering nervously at Youngjae

Youngjae exhales. It’s only that he realises he was holding his breath, waiting for Jaebeom’s answer. “Sure. Let’s go shopping then.”

Jaebeom exhales too, the tension from fear of Youngjae’s answer starting to seep out of him.


	3. Three

At the supermarket, Youngjae makes quick work of grabbing what he needs off the shelves because he hates shopping and just wants to get it out of the way. Even so he is nice enough to ask if Jaebeom needs anything in particular, an offer Jaebeom declines politely.

“Aren’t you on a diet? Certainly you need to buy food in compliance with that.” Youngjae points out while steering his cart into the fruit and Vegetable isle.

Jaebeom feels a sombre mood befall him at the very thought of his awful diet. Stuffing his hand sin his jacket pocket, he looks around as they walk along the isle and finally replies, “I’ll eat whatever you have.”

“Are you sure?”

“I doubt that your diet is that unhealthy.”

Youngjae shrugs. “Point taken. We should grab some spring onion, vegetables, steak and sausage to stew.”

The way Youngjae just naturally includes the ingredients for Jaebeom’s favourite dishes into the budget, Jaebeom can’t resist getting swallowed up in the domesticity of it. He is getting way ahead of himself and he knows that but it doesn’t stop the flattering in his belly or the swelling in his chest.

**********

After they’ve filled the cart with all the food they need, Youngjae leads them to the toiletry isle to look for shampoo. Jaebeom is the one pushing the cart this time. They come to a halt in the cosmetics section and Youngjae immediately reaches for his favourite brand of shampoo.

Jaebeom recognises the brand and notices that it’s a different scent than what he has known Youngjae to use. “Is that mint?” the question comes out before Jaebeom can’t think better of it

Youngjae looks up to meet Jaebeom’s gaze. “Yeah. Why?”

“You used to use apricot.”

“I changed it. Mint is more refreshing.”

Jaebeom’s gaze momentarily slides to Youngjae’s hair. “I liked the scent of apricot on your hair.” He nostalgically mutters more to himself than to Youngjae and then he appears to snap out of it and adds, “I’m going to look for body spray. I think I might run out soon.”

Youngjae doesn’t know why he is doing anything for Jaebeom’s benefit, but after Jaebeom walks away to the next section, Youngjae puts the mint scented shampoo back on the shelf and takes the apricot one instead.

It really sucks that he can’t stop himself from feeling the tinge of warmth at how comfortabl, domestic and just _fitting_ it is shopping with Jaebeom, planning future meals together and Jaebeom telling him what cosmetics suit him best. It’s just shampoo, but still. Try telling that to Youngjae’s flattering heart which has skittered too far away for him to control now. They haven’t even really talked yet, so Youngjae doesn’t want to hope or assume anything just yet but there is no denying the fact that despite the lingering anger he is feeling towards Jaebeom, it feels good to simply spend time like this together. Youngjae has really missed Jaebeom.

“Hey.” Jaebeom calls from the other section, cutting Youngjae’s thoughts short.

Youngjae blinks, a little startled. “hm?” he lofts his eyebrows at Jaebeom with askance

“Help me pick out a body spray. Since I’ll be staying with you for a while, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable with what I’ll smell like.”

Oh hell. Youngjae’s weak heart is in trouble now.

Like immature jerks, they spend a little too much time trying out the samples for several body sprays, harshly criticizing and laughing at the ones that smell bad complimenting the ones that do, until they finally find the one best suited for Jaebeom.

It’s the most fun Jaebeom has had in a long time and it feels so good seeing Youngjae laugh with him.

***********

While walking to the bus station from the supermarket in companionable silence, Jaebeom spots a candy store and stops, interest piqued. He turns to Youngjae who is eyeing him with askance.

“I haven’t had candy in a long time.” Jaebeom says. “My nutritionist won’t let me eat that.”

“Your nutritionist is right. Sugar is bad for you”

Jaebeom lowers his gaze in obvious disappointment, nodding solemnly. Youngjae’s lips twitch in an effort not to laugh. “I suppose you won’t die from eating one piece of candy.” Youngjae concedes because his stupid heart is too weak to deny a sad Jaebeom anything.

Youngjae doesn’t berate his weak heart for too long though because of how satisfying and rewarding it is to see the way Jaebeom’s face and mood instantly lights back up.

*******

Jaebeom has a childlike glee and bounce in his step while he enjoys his blueberry lollipop as they walk out of the candy store. He has his face mask pushed down a bit off his mouth so that he can eat the candy comfortably, but his sunglasses and cap are still in place. Just outside, they find a man standing there with his poodle. Youngjae is the dog man, but he doesn’t even spare the dog a second glance yet cat obsessed Jaebeom unceremoniously stops, puts the groceries down and squats on the pavement to pet the dog. Youngjae just stands watching after greeting the dog’s owner.

Youngjae would be lying if he says his heart doesn’t warm up from seeing Jaebeom smile so hard while playing with the dog. It’s a sweet sight.

******

“I still feel tired. Do you mind if I take another nap now?” Jaebeom asks. They are in the kitchen moments after storing away the groceries they bought.

“No. go ahead.” Youngjae understands too well how Jaebeom tends to sleep more when he is depressed. It’s worrying but nothing much can be done about it at this particular moment. Jaebeom can rest now but when he wakes up, they will definitely have their much needed conversation.

*******

When Youngjae steps out of his bedroom around 6pm, he finds Jaebeom finally awake and sitting at the kitchen table. There is a half full glass of water at the table in front of Jaebeom who is hunched over the table, resting his chin on his forearms, and just staring at the glass. He looks so disheartened and depressed. Youngjae hates the sight. He wants to stay mad at Jaebeom, but it’s getting harder and harder to freeze out someone who already looks so cold and alone.

As much as Youngjae hates dredging up the bitter emotions now, it has to be done. So, slowly he walks to the table and takes s eat across Jaebeom. Jaebeom’s lips tip up in a tiny smile to acknowledge Youngjae’s presence, but he doesn’t look away from the glass.

“Everything okay?” Youngjae asks.

Hm.” Jaebeom hums

Silence.

“Can we finally talk about the elephant in the room?” Youngjae’s voice tears through the thick silence in the room.

Jaebeom sighs and sits up, finally meeting Youngjae’s gaze. In all honestly Jaebeom doesn’t want to talk, especially not about difficult stuff they’ve been through as boyfriends. After struggling a lot as a person recently, he would rather be here resting with the person he loves the most. It’s easier for him to pretend everything is okay here. But it’s not and pretending there isn’t any tension between them won’t make it go away. Jaebeom can only hope that there is a happy ending at the conclusion of this tough conversation.


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom and Youngjae finally, finally have their much needed conversation about why Jaebeom left Youngjae all those months ago, and how Jaebeom feels about Youngjae now

“Okay. I know you have questions-”

“Just one actually.” Youngjae cuts in.

Somehow that’s much scarier for Jaebeom. “What’s the question?”

“why did you cut off contact with me five months ago?”

Jaebeom swallows thickly. “I didn’t want to dump you over the phone.”

“How the hell is that better than this, you idiot?” Youngjae snaps, every bit of pain he feels pouring into each word. It only makes Jaebeom hate himself more.

“It seemed like the best thing to do at the time.”

“You are selfish and stupid.” Youngjae continues to fire, ignoring Jaebeom’s wince. “And a fucking cliché.”

Jaebeom doubles back, confused. “How am I a cliché?”

“You’re one of those many people that seem to think handling pain on their own is the best way to go. That’s as cliché as those cheesy ass love songs you write.”

Jaebeom winces again, but he realises these are insults he has to endure because he deserves every one of them and probably more.

Youngjae just stares at Jaebeom for a little while, pleased that he hasn’t launched into trying to defend himself. It’s satisfying to see Jaebeom accept his mistakes, because the whole idea is not to hurt Jeabeom but to make him realise he messed up. That’s why it only takes Youngjae exactly one minute to regret his comment on Jaebeom’s music. He can tell Jaebeom is hurt by it.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think your lyrics are cheesy or cliché. I love your music.”

“I know. You said it because you are hurt. I get it.”

“You’re having a hard time and I really don’t want to make it worse. I just want answers.” 

Jaebeom nods and goes to give Youngjae the answers he wants. “I’ve been under pressure from my work because it feels like no matter how hard I try; I’m not quite where I want to be yet. The malicious comments just make things a thousand times worse. At that time I felt so jaded with life to the point where I had no strength left for relationships of any kind. I just wanted to disappear somewhere on my own. I felt like I had nothing left to offer anyone. You and I were having a hard time already dealing with the long distance. I assumed my turbulent emotions would only make things worse.”

“So our relationship became a burden for you until you had to get rid of it.” It’s a statement.

Hearing Youngjae say it with so much anguish in his kind eyes makes it that much harder for Jaebeom to confirm it. “yeah.” He whispers.

“You could have talked to me about it.”

“I didn’t want you to convince me that we could stay together.”

“And now?”

“Now…. I regret what I did because I’ve missed you so much.”

“Do you still love me?”

“Of course I do.”

Youngjae isn’t sure this is what he wants to hear. A part of him feels a whole lot better hearing that the love of his life still loves him back. Another part of him is a afraid of the hope unfurling in his chest because Jaebeom’s emotions are turbulent right now, as he just said so himself a few seconds ago. That means Jaebeom is certain about what he wants and he could just walk away any second. Youngjae sure he can handle that kind of pain again.

“What are you thinking?” Jaebeom’s questions cuts off Youngjae’s thoughts.

“A lot of things.” Youngjae laughs humourlessly. 

“I know I made a huge mistake and it’s probably hard for you to trust me again. I came back here to fix all that.” Jaebeom pauses on a shaky breath before he continues. “And to tell you how important you are to me. The emptiness I’ve felt recently without you in my life…. I never want to feel that way again. At the time I cut you off, I was so lost in my own agony that I forgot losing our romantic relationship also meant losing my best friend. My loneliness started worsening and that’s when I realised I’d fucked up.

“Then I was lost. Everything that’s important to me is in the gutter through all fault of mine and I have no idea how to fix any of. I didn’t know what would become of my coming here. I just needed to get away and this was the only place I knew I would feel the safest.”

Youngjae just speechlessly stares at Jaebeom, the harsh beating of his heart almost deafening. All his emotions are threatening to burst his chest open. The pain Jaebeom is feeling is so palpable and it’s making Youngjae hurt too.

“Hyung, I had no idea….” Youngjae says breathlessly and then trails off because he can’t find the right thing to say. Without thinking, he reaches out for Jaebeum’s hand at the table and for Jaebum’s hands and weaves their fingers together. Jaebeom’s breathe catches, surprised by the gesture, but it is definitely very welcome. He squeezes gently, letting Youngjae know that he needs this and deeply appreciates it. 

“Yes I’ve had a shitty past few months but there is no excuse for what I did to you.” Jaebeom goes on. “I made stupid mistake after stupid mistake and I deserve the consequences. Desperate to try and get some actual recognition, I disregarded my usual music producer and worked on my own on the last album. As you know, that was a mess.” He laughs bitterly. “My fans hated the effort and savagely criticized it. I was devastated. My CEO told me to keep a low profile for a while, stay home and away from trouble, but I got restless eventually and went drinking with some people. That’s how my SNS meltdown happened.” Jaebeom ducks his head suddenly guilty. “Of course I don’t think they are unappreciative treacherous snakes. I just said it out of spite and anger because they hurt my pride criticizing my latest album like that.

“Now I’m hurt, my fans are hurt even more and I have no idea how to fix anything. I’ve tried to apologise and my agency is trying as well, but the bigger portion of my fans are still angry. My career could be over.”

Listening to Jaebeom tell his story, Youngjae concludes that everything is indeed Jaebeom’s fault, but Youngjae can’t disregard the fact that Jaebeom is also just a victim of his own mental health and stress that comes with adult life. Being the victim has been a whole lot easier for Youngjae while thinking Jaebeom is out there living well. Hearing how much Jaebeom has been suffering too changes everything.

The yearning Youngjae has to reach to Jaebeom and comfort him only grows deeper and deeper, so he stands up in an instant and rounds the table to go and stand next to Jaebeom.

Tired of looking at the top of Jaebeom’s head, Youngjae gently cups Jaebeom’s cheeks and lifts his face. Tilting his head while regarding Jaebeom’s tried but still handsome face, he brushes a thumb across his jaw tenderly. Youngjae isn’t sure what he is saying to Jaebeom right now. I understand? Stop apologising? I’m sorry you’ve suffered so much too? Maybe it’s all of those things and maybe it’s none of them. Youngjae just wants to be here looking down into Jaebeom’s kind eyes and smiling at him. He just wants to feel Jaebeom’s warm skin against his palms for just a little longer.

Meanwhile Jaebeom’s eyes slowly flutter closed as he leans into Youngjae touch. He has missed this so much that longing hurts almost physically.

“Care for a hug?” Youngjae asks. Jaebeom’s eyes snap open and Youngjae watches them fill with moisture and so much emotion. Youngjae feels close to tears too.

“Yes please.” Jaebeom breathes without an ounce of hesitation and then he stands up and throws himself into Youngjae’s waiting arms. He has to hold back a whimper when Youngjae enfolds him in a tight hug. Youngjae guides the Jaebeom’s face into the crook of his neck a cradles it there.

Jaebeom wraps his arms around Youngjae’s waist and holds on tight, nosing his way further into Youngjae’s neck, eyes squeezing shut as he presses closer to him. “I’m so sorry, Youngjae.”

“I know. Now stop apologising already. It’s more annoying.”

Youngjae knows that Jaebeom needs a lot of time to sort out his life and his career; that whatever made him feel too worthless for Youngjae probably hasn’t gone away. As much as Youngjae feels it’s important to dwell on that, he just doesn’t want to. He wants to be finished with all those bitter emotions and focus on this moment. He has wanted to see Jaebeom, to be with him, and now Jaebeom _is_ finally here so Youngaje is only interested in making things work between them for the sake of both their hurting hearts.

They’ll keep talking about the sad emotions for as long as they need to until they feel better but right now he would rather set that aside for a while and just talk and laugh with Jaebeom like they used to. The truth is that Youngjae every bit still in love with Jaebeom as he was the first time they met in the middle of an arcade in Seoul. He is still as smitten as he was back when they went out on their first date, when they had their first kiss, when they first slept together, the first time Jaebeom made him breakfast in bed, the first time they cooked together, the first time they wore couple clothes.

Despite how tough the past few months were for Youngjae was still able to smile sometimes at the memories he and Jaebeom have made.

Jaebeom is still very much a part of him.

Leaning back, Jaebeom looks up at Youngjae and smiles. Youngjae smiles back, all teeth and eyes crinkling at the corners. Jaebeom hasn’t seen this bright smile in ages and he missed it so, so much. Youngjae’s eyes are alight with everything Jaebeom wants to see- genuine happiness, understanding, acceptance, hope.

Jaebeom desperately wants to stay here with Youngjae for as long as possible until their relationship is fixed, maybe his career too. Now, finally since he got here, the permission to stay is written in Youngjae’s eyes.

Youngjae wants him to stay.

“I love you, Youngjae.”

Youngjae cups Jaebeom’s face in his palms and leans down to kiss Jaebeom with probably a little too much force, a little too much hunger, a little too much desperation; but who cares?

Jaebeom’s lips taste exactly as soft, maybe a bit chapped and perfect as Youngjae remembers. Jaebeom rises to his feet and wraps is arms properly around Youngjae, tilting his head slightly to deepen the kiss.

Nothing in Jaebeom’s world comes close to how perfect this moment is. This is what his life has been missing over the past few months- this deeply gratifying feeling of holding Youngjae in his arms, kissing him, being loved by him. Jaebeom knows that he has some problems, there is a lot of growing up he needs to do, some things he needs to abandon and Youngjae is not one of them. He needs Youngjae like he needs air, water and light to survive. Youngjae is Jaebeom’s home and in this moment Jaebeom decides that he is never going to let Youngjae go ever again.

********

Jaebeom smiles when Youngjae slowly blinks his eyes open, looking at Jaebeom sleepily, before closing his eyes shut again and burying his face into the pillow. “Is it morning already? I want to sleep more.”

“Rise and shine, baby,” Jaebeom coos in English, leaning in and brushing his nose against Youngjae’s cheek. “You look really cute when you’re sleeping.”

Youngjae’s eyes open again and he smiles. “I’m not cute.”

“S you’ve said.”

“I really missed waking up next to you like this.”

“Me too.” Youngjae leans over and kiss Jaebeom on the lips. “Good morning.” He chirps in English.

“Good morning.” Jaebeom mimics and leans in to press a kiss to Youngjae’s lips, soft and adoring first, turning deep and passionate quickly.

Youngjae opens his mouth for Jaebeom, welcoming his tongue with his own, bringing his hand up to stroke Jaebeom’s thick, long hair.

After long minutes of lying in Youngjae’s bed and just kissing, they finally draw slowly away from each other, lips separating, but they stay relatively close with their noses sliding gently against one another.

“What shall we do today?” Youngjae whispers into the small space separating their lips.

“A walk would be nice.”

“And?”

“And whatever else you want to do. You don’t have work and neither do I. we can do whatever. I’m happy as long as we are together.” Jaebeom’s lips curve up into a small smile as he runs his index finger over Youngjae’s cheek bone, then down to his jaw, feeling the light stubble on Youngjae’s chin.

Youngjae feels his heart fill with the urging need to protect Jaebeom’s happiness with everything he has, no matter how small that happiness may be.

“Since I’m your happiness, I’ll stick close to you until you puke rainbows.”

Jaebeom laughs this time, “That’s a lot of happiness. I’d like that.”

“We should get up now and start our Sunday.”

“Later.” Jaebeom slowly rolls Youngjae on to his back, climbing over him, and pressing their mouths together.

Youngjae sighs against Jaebeom’s lips, tipping his chin up, opening his mouth a little more, while Jaebeom slowly strokes down Youngjae’s arms, until he found his hands, and Youngjae moans softly when Jaebeom clasps their fingers together, pressing them down on either side of Youngjae’s head into the mattress.

This, this is the feeling of love and happiness that Youngjae lives for.

He makes a silent vow to never let himself lose this ever again.


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2Jae talk more about their relationship and their future together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This final chapter is just 2jae bonding some more so that i can include the fluff and romance i promised in the tags for this story. 
> 
> Again i'd like to say my deep and sincere thanks to everyone who is always here to support my 2jae stories. to those just seeing my stories, big thanks to you too. It's because of your support that i continue writing.  
> take great care everyone<3

Around 7:30am, Youngjae and Jaebeom head out to take a walk together around the neighbourhood. Apart from a few moments when either one of them starts a conversation, they just enjoy the cool fresh morning air in companionable silence with their hands clasped together and dangling between them.

“I want a cup of coffee.” Youngjae announces. Do you want coffee, hyung?”

Jaebeom peers at Youngjae. “That sounds nice.”

“There is a coffee house near here.”

“How near is near?” Jaebeom asks dubiously

“Near.” Youngjae furtively repeats, fuelling Jaebeom’s suspicion.

“If we walk that much longer my legs might fall off.”

“See why I tell you to exercise more?”

“Alright, alright no scolding. Let’s go get that coffee.” Jaebeom concedes, sliding his hand out of Youngjae’s to lift his arm and wrap it around Youngjae’s shoulders.

With a victorious smile on his face, Youngjae snakes his arm around Jaebeom’s waist.

*******

They are holding hands again while drinking their coffee and walking back to Youngjae’s place. These are the times when Youngjae is especially happy about the fact that Jaebeom is left handed- they can hold hands like this without anyone feeling inconvenienced by using the wrong hand to do something else. Youngjae especially loves it when they visit the arcade.

“My free time feel a little bland these days, especially on weekends. I’m thinking of getting a dog.” Youngjae says, looking up at Jaebeom.

“Are you serious?” Jaebeom smiles, fascinated by the idea of having pets around

“Yeah. I remember you telling me about your plan to adopt 5 cats at once. Is that still a thing?” There is mischief in Youngjae’s tone of voice and the huge smile on his face, as if he is just dying to hear what Jaebeom’s take is on that ridiculous plan nowadays.

Jaebeom’s smile is just a bit sheepish now. “Maybe one at a time. Perhaps two on the first go.” 

“If you want all 5 at once, go ahead. I won’t judge. After all I’m the one dating a guy who wants to adopt 5 cats at once.”

“I feel like I should be offended by that.”

“I love you.” Youngjae quickly says to divert Jaebeom’s attention before he looks too much into what Youngjae just said.

Jaebeom looks at Youngjae like he knows exactly what he’s doing but lets it happen anyway. “I love you too.”

********

Back at Youngjae’s place, Jaebeom gets plunged into helping Youngjae organise his closet and plan his outfits for the work week, after which they head to the kitchen to plan their food for the week and make today’s breakfast as well. It’s all disgustingly domestic and Jaebeom loves every second of it.

They look up a recipe together and settle for some specific pork and chicken recipes because Youngjae doesn’t have that many ingredients for a fancy dish. They agree upon going back to the supermarket later to buy more much needed ingredients.

The process of actually cooking the food goes unbelievably smoothly. They can both cook, but they’ve never cooked together before today and Jaebeom is now wondering why they took so long to do this together. They are teasing each other, taking short pauses to make out, laughing, sharing ideas and cooking experiences, talking about their memories about food they ate at home when they were kids. It’s great.

After they’ve made enough food, Jaebeom suggests they get started with their late breakfast before they end up getting too tired to make it.

Youngjae suggests they make a baked omelette and Jaebeom goes with it.

Once they successfully prepare and get the omelette in the oven, they take a break entirely from the cooking and lose themselves in each other. Jaebeom has Youngjae perched on the counter and is standing between his legs, kissing him passionately.

Luckily Youngjae hasn’t lost all sense, so he can smell the aroma from the oven wafting around them and he frown, pushing Jaebeom away gently.

“I think our omelette is burning.” Youngjae mumbles against Jaebeom’s lips.

“Huh?” Jaebeom leans back to look up at Youngjae with a confused frown on his face. Youngjae wants to laugh at how cross he looks about the interruption.

“If we go on like this we’ll have no breakfast to eat.”

Jaebeom sighs morosely, dropping his head on a giggling Youngjae’s shoulder. Youngjae takes Jaebeom’s face in the palms of his hands and tips it up to meet his gaze. “We’ll continue this later. I promise.” He presses a tender kiss against Jaebeom’s lips. “But for now the eggs are really burning.”

“Right.” Jaebeom snaps his fingers and laughingly rushes to go check on the omelette.

Youngjae jumps off the counter and goes to peer at the food from over Jaebeom’s shoulder, sliding his arms around Jaebeom’s waist. “What’s the situation?”

“We saved it just in time.” Jaebeom confirms. “Let’s eat. I’m starving.”

********

They eat their breakfast in the living area while watching the morning news and complaining about how depressing it is. Instead of changing the channel, Jaebeom tells Youngjae about a book he has been reading recently. According to Youngjae, it’s some boring thing about European history. To be exact, it’s about Germany in the time of Otto Von Bismarck. He can never understand how Jaebeom enjoys reading things like that. Still, Youngjae listens attentively, hums in the right places and even asks some questions, because he has missed just talking to Jaebeom like this.

This is still way better than watching the news.

Youngjae tells Jaebeom a little about the TV series he’s following recently and it turns out that Jaebeom is also watching some of them as well, so they end up trading commentary. Even long after their plates have emptied, they are still talking about whatever comes to mind and laughing together. It’s all far from perfect and it’s not quite like the old times but they are getting there. they will get there with a step at a time.

*********

After breakfast, Jaebeom offers to do the dishes but Youngjae helps him out anyway because he wants to spend every moment with Jaebeom, to make up for the time they lost for all those months they were apart. All the talking is done; all the bitterness, uncertainty and confusion is vanquished; and emotions are out in the open, so they are free to just love.

The task at hand ends and Youngjae busies himself with making some hot chocolate for them both. Meanwhile Jaebeom goes to the living area to do a little exploring, a thing he hasn’t really done since he got here.

While looking around at the pictures of Youngjae’s family on the wall by the bookshelf, Jaebeom stumbles upon a collection of board games neatly tucked away among some magazines on the book shelf. Jaebeom does a little snooping and finds quite a good number of classics such as scrabble, monopoly, chess and snakes and ladders. By far snakes and ladders is the one he finds most fascinating.

Youngjae enters the living room with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate and Jaebeom turns to him with a huge smile and a box of snake n ladders in his hands.

Youngjae grins. “Do you play?”

“It’s been years, but I’m very interested.”

Youngjae agrees and they settle on the carpeted floor by the coffee table to play. Youngjae is looking forward to the fun of playing a nostalgic board game with someone after having no one to play with for so long.

It takes a little while for Jaebeom to ease into the game and to just relax and have fun, but it happens eventually and it’s thanks to how kind Youngjae is being to him. Jaebeom is certain that he feels better now after talking to Youngjae earlier. His heart feels lighter and the heavy darkness he has been feeling has been pushed out to make room for a glimmer of hope that maybe this is a true beginning of their healing. 

“I never knew you liked board games.” Jaebeom says with a tiny smile tugging at his lips.

“Should I be embarrassed?”

“No. I know you are a weirdo like that. This is fun plus I’m totally beating your ass.”

Youngjae laughs at Jaebeom’s enthusiasm, insults totally disregarded. “I used to play some of these games on my phone, but it never just felt the same as it used to when I was a kid, so I recently started buying the actual board games.”

“How do you play alone?”

“I don’t. That’s why I’m happy to finally be doing this with someone.” Youngjae gives Jaebeom a meaningful look and an appreciative smile.

“I’m really glad to be here.” Jaebeom responds and he means every word.

********

Youngjae goes to his room to FaceTime Jackson while Jaebeom is taking a nap on the couch in the living room.

Jackson’s smiling face fills Youngjae’s phone screen. “How is it going?” he asks

“Jaebeom hyung and I finally talked.”

“And?” Jackson’s smile slips. “What the hell did he say?”

“let’s just say that he unloaded a whole lot of personal problems. It’s like…” Youngjae trails off, awkwardly scratching his ear as he considers how to proceed with this conversation without giving too much information away. Jackson is a dear friend who has stood by Youngjae through thick and thin and it’s only right that Youngjae shares details. At the same time Jaebeom trusts his personal issues with Youngjae, confident that that stuff will stay between just them, and Youngjae doesn’t want to break that trust.

Apparently Youngjae’s dilemma is very obvious because Jackson takes pity on him and literally waves the question off with the palm of his hand. “Never mind that. I don’t need the details. How do you feel after all the talking is done?”

Youngjae sighs deeply and allows himself to smile. “A lot better. Jaebeom hyung and I have a lot to work through obviously because he is depressed…. I think. His problems are just starting and all that is bound to get heavy for us in the future.”  
“Us? I take it you’ve decided to try again.”

“My heart wants what it wants. What can I say?”

Jackson grins. “That’s so cheesy. Jaebeom hyung has rubbed off on you in all the wrong ways”

Youngjae half expects Jackson to scold and condemn him for taking Jaebeom back so fast and so easily, but that doesn’t happen. Maybe somewhere at the back of his mind Youngjae thinks everything with Jaebeom is happening a little too fast, that maybe he should have waited a little longer to take Jaebeom back. “What’s that face?” Jackson asks, slicing through Youngjae’s line of thought.

“hm?” Youngjae blinks in confusion.

“You were frowning just now.”

“I need your honest opinion. Do you think I’m making a mistake taking Jaebeom hyung back?”

Jackson presses his lips together. “Maybe. I don’t know. No one knows. What I do know is that we’ve all made a mistake at least once or twice for love. Its better this way, you know. Regretting the decision you’ve made now is better than sitting on your own later wishing you’d given your relationship another shot.”

“I suppose so.”

“Tell Jaebeom hyung to expect a punch in the face from me.”

Youngjae grins. “He’ll be staying here a little while, so feel free to drop by any time.”

********

Jaebeom is awake when Youngjae steps into the living area after his phone call with Jackson. Jaebeom takes really long naps, so Youngjae is surprised to find him lying on his back with his phone in his left hand which is lying across his chest.

“Hey.” Youngjae says, approaching the couch.

Jaebeom lazily lifts his gaze like it’s painfully stressful to look up and when their gazes meet, Youngjae notices how unhappy he looks.

“Hi.” Jaebeom smiles with a very forced smile.

Youngjae drops to the carpeted floor. “What’s wrong?”

“I just got off the phone with my manager. He says the company just officially announced my full indefinite hiatus. Our CEO wants me to lay low until they’ve figured out how to do damage control. Meanwhile I’ve been warned against using any social media platform to talk to my fans.”

Something squeezes tight in Youngjae’s chest, just thinking about how anguished Jaebeom must be feeling. “How do you feel about that?” Even though he has a pretty accurate assumption, Youngjae still asks the question because he wants Jaebeom to talk to him, to share his pain with Youngjae. They have made so much progress in so little time since Jaebeom got here and Youngjae would like to keep that up, so he is not about to let Jaebeom close up again and start trying to handle all this heavy stuff on his own again.

“Right now I feel like…. I want to sleep some more.”

“You sound depressed. Maybe you need counselling?”

“I’m not sure that’s what I want.”

“It’s what you might need. At least think about it.”

“Okay.” Jaebeom nods vehemently.

Youngjae sighs and leans forward, resting his forehead against Jaebeom’s. “Tomorrow is uncertain but you’ll survive this. You tend to be irritatingly resilient.”

Jaebeom’s lips curve into a tiny smile as his eyes trail over Youngjae’s lips, nose, up to his eyes and he feels almost overwhelmed by Youngjae’s loving and trusting stare. The look alone makes Jaebeom have the courage to hope for a better day soon. “I really missed you.” He mutters, breath ghosting over Youngjae’s face.

Having Jaebeom so close that Youngjae can feel the warmth of his breath against his face, just stare at his beautiful face and see every mole, see how attractive his nose ring makes him look- Youngjae can’t resist leaning forward to kiss Jaebeom’s lips. “I missed you too. Don’t disappear again. Please. We should get through this together.”

“I missed you since the moment I decided to let you go. It was hell. I’m not going back there. Can you trust me again this once?”

There are fears and doubts threatening to overwhelm Youngjae anew but all that melts away in this moment Because Jaebeom came back and he is still here now willing to make up for his mistakes and give them another chance. He is here staring back at Youngjae with such confounding love in his eyes.

So, “I trust you.” Youngjae replies because there is not much else he can do when he is so profoundly in love with Jaebeom, when Jaebeom’s warm, comforting arms is where his home is.

“I’ll protect your trust this time.”

“I know.” Youngjae finally smiles, big and bright. Jaebeom does the same.

“Come here.” Jaebeom invites, simply needing Youngjae close and lying in his arms like he used to.

Youngjae gets up immediately and let’s Jaebeom accommodate him on the couch so that they are lying on their sides and facing each other. Jaebeom curls his left arm around Youngjae and pulls him close while his right hand palm cups the back of Youngjae’s head, guiding him to nestle in the crook of Jaebeom’s neck.

“Your hair smells good.”

Youngjae smiles, thinking he did them both a favour switching back to mint shampoo. “Glad to hear it. Jackson hyung says he’ll stop by to punch you in the face.”

Jaebeom’s shakes with laughter. “I guess I deserve that. By the way, Jinyoung didn’t mean to ghost you as well. I’m the one who put him in a tough spot. He feels really bad about what happened.”

“You definitely deserve to be punched in the face, and I understand where Jinyoung was coming from. There are no hard feelings. I’d like to try and harmoniously move forward.”

“Me too.”

“We should go out tonight to celebrate our new start.” Youngjae whispers, buring his face in the crook of Jaebeom’s neck and kissing him there. Jaebeom can feel his loneliness slowly seeping out of him and getting replaced with warmth and comfort.

“I’m all in.” Jaebeom whispers back.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to each and everyone who has taken the time to read my story. Bigger thanks to the readers that always stop to support me through kudos and comments. You guys rock! Love you all<3


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